You’re probably more comfortable with your friends than anyone else. After all, they’ve seen you through that awful breakup and those ugly bangs! But just because you can tell them anything doesn’t mean you can tell them…anything.
Your friendship will be closer if you never say these 11 things to your friends.
“Get over it”
Sure, sometimes they need to just move on from their loser ex. But even when you’re sick and tired of hearing about it, telling them to “get over it” is insensitive. Use kinder language, or help them to move on by planning distracting activities.
2. “I hate your significant other”
If they’re just getting to know someone new, then bringing up your concerns is obviously important. But once they’re serious about someone, stay away from bashing their significant other. It will do more harm than good and will distance you from your friend. Don’t worry, if he’s not the one, she’ll figure it out.
3. “So and so doesn’t like you”
If a mutual friend vents a little about your bestie, don’t spread the news. First of all, you shouldn’t share secrets that were shared with you. Telling your best friend that they’re not liked will hurt their feelings and might even force you to pick sides between two people you love.
4. “That was stupid”
We all do stupid stuff, but nobody likes to be reminded of it. They’ve already done something dumb, so your job is to try and make them feel better about it. A real friend would emphasize how not stupid it was to spend a couple hundred dollars on a pair of sneakers, even though you know it was.
5. “You should have told me!”
If your friends keep secrets, don’t react with jealousy. This will only make them less eager to share important news with you in the future. Focus on being supportive, not making it all about you.
6. “Don’t worry about it”
When has this ever stopped someone from worrying? This language minimizes your friend’s anxiety. Just don’t say it.
7. “You should have listened to me”
Yeah, they probably should have listened to you before going out on that blind date with the guy who had been “between jobs” for the last year. But they already know that. Having you point it out just pours salt on the wound.
8. “If it were me…”
But it’s not you. Your friends don’t have to do everything the same way you would. After all, you’re not perfect! Your personalities and personal histories are completely different. Give them the opportunity to forge their own path without voicing your opinion every step of the way.
9. “It will be fine”
Like “don’t worry about it,” this phrase minimizes your friend’s emotions. They’re worried for a reason, and telling them their fears aren’t legitimate just shows them you don’t care enough to explore the reason they’re stressed.
10. “Why wasn’t I invited?”
Even your very best friend has other friends. If they choose to hang out with them every once in a while, don’t make them feel guilty about it. If you’re too protective over your friendship, then maybe you should try getting out and meeting new people!
11. “Remember when you…”
Never ever bring up shameful moments in your friend’s history. Sure, you were the only one around in 7th grade when they threw up during the school play, and maybe they even laugh about the memory with you. But give them the freedom to leave their embarrassing past in the past.
Nobody wants to purposefully hurt their friends. By avoiding language that is dismissive, jealous, or rude, you’ll show your friends just how important they are to you.
