Let’s face it—first dates are complicated. Not only are you trying to figure out if you’re attracted to one another, if you have anything in common, and if your personalities and life goals could someday intertwine, but you’re also trying to figure out if the person sitting across the table from you is really who they seem to be.
Too many of us end up investing in relationships that are toxic, abusive, fake, or frustrating. Next time you’re on a first date, watch out for these 4 warning signs that might point to an unhealthy relationship from the start.
They Seem To Be Your Perfect Match
Do they agree with everything you say? Do you have all the same hobbies, like the same food, and cheer for the same teams? You might think a partner like that is too good to be true…and you might be right.
Sure, there might be a few people out there who love pineapple on their pizza just like you, but your date’s willingness to agree to everything you say could be a way for them to hide sharing anything about themselves. If you find your date is similar to you to the point of being almost strange, proceed with caution. It might just be coincidence or good luck, but it could be a sign your date is attempting to force intimacy with you.
They Won’t Discuss the Past
First dates are all about the future, right? But your past is a part of who you are, for good or for bad! If your date is unwilling to share things about their past, including their previous relationships, family, or upbringing, it could be a sign they’re hiding some bad behavior.
If they are uncomfortable when you discuss your past (even if you’re not!), it’s another red flag. This could be a sign they’ll be overly jealous of your past flames or your friends in the months or years to come.
They Won’t Stop Discussing the Past
Sure, you want to know if they’ve ever been in a serious relationship before. But are they harping on and on about their first love? If so, they might still be navigating unresolved feelings from an old relationship, and you should stay away—you’re only going to get your heart broken if you step between two people with history.
If they can’t stop saying bad things about an old partner, it’s another red flag. After all, they barely know you! Sharing excessive criticism of someone they used to love shows that they might be narcissistic, self-involved, or immature.
They Keep Checking Their Phone
It might seem obvious, but then again, most of us are willing to overlook a lot in the name of love! If your date keeps constantly checking their phone, responding to texts or calls, or just generally acts distracted during your time together, it’s a good idea to make your first date your last date.
These behaviors indicate a lack of interest and commitment in your potential relationship. After all, they might even be checking their dating profile or texting other potential dates while they get drinks with you! You deserve to be someone’s first choice, and if they can’t see that, they’re not worth your time.
Your Perfect Partner Is Out There
Don’t settle for a bad date just to be with someone. If you see warning signs, get out—and trust that the next one might be the one!