One of the crucial parts of growing up is recognizing that our parents are also whole beings with their own lives and experiences. As our parents grow older, many of us begin to wonder who they are. Learning more about our parents allows us to better understand their choices as well as gain more context for our own lives. It also allows you to bond as two adults, instead of constricting the relationship to purely a mother and her child. Below are some suggestions for what to ask your mom to get to know her better, so read on to boost your relationship today!
- What was the most challenging part of raising me and my siblings?
This question will give you perspective on what your parents were going through as you were doing your best to grow up. We often forget that our parents are growing alongside us, and understanding the situations that they experienced can help us gain valuable perspective and empathy.
- What kind of trouble did you get into as a child?
Sometimes children can accidentally fall into the wrong mindset that their parents have always been adults. Asking about your parents’ childhood memories will help you gain a deeper understanding of who your parents are. You’ll also gain a fond memory of laughing while reminiscing on the comedy of growing up.
- What kind of parents were your parents?
While this question can be a difficult one, understanding the way that your parents were raised will help you understand their personalities and decisions. This question will foster emotional intimacy and help your parents to know that you have taken the time to get to know them deeply and empathetically.
- What did you want to be growing up?
This question probes again at who your mom was as a small girl. You’ll gain a better understanding of how your mom got to be the person you know today as she answers the question.
- What’s something you always wanted to do, and why didn’t you end up doing it?
Asking your mother about her formative hopes and dreams can really help you understand the things she values and enjoys. Her answer could help you understand her motivations and more about the person that she was before she was your mother. Perhaps you’ll find that you and your mother will have more in common than you ever realized.
- How have your notions of what it means to be a woman changed over your lifetime?
This question can give you a more historical perspective on what your mother has been through. Women have faced many different obstacles and pressures throughout history and your mother’s reflections on her ideas on what a woman is and what a woman should be will help you understand some of her insecurities and how she understands herself.
Not only will these questions help you get to know the people who raised you, but will deepen the bond you feel. Your mother will surely appreciate the time and attention you show by asking them these questions. True affection and loyalty is usually born of understanding, so asking your mom these questions today will help you understand both her and yourself better. Perhaps you’ll find you two have more in common than you think!
