Telling First Date Conversation Starters

first date conversation

You might think you don’t really need to prepare for a first date—after all, it’s not exactly an interview! Or is it?

Not to scare you, but first dates are kind of a big deal. Nobody likes to waste time on a relationship that’s going nowhere—and a good first date can help you pinpoint whether you might click or whether it’s better to move on. 

Keep reading for our favorite first date conversation starters that really help you get to know your date.

Ask About Where They’re From

Who knows, maybe you’re from the state or town! Depending on their answer, this question can spark great conversation—maybe you’ve been to the same parks, museums, or restaurants. If it turns out you’ve never even heard of where they grew up, their answer is still valuable—after all, their home probably has a huge bearing on how they see the world. Did they grow up in a small town, or in the middle of a city? Did they like it or hate it? Do they want to move back someday? You can learn a lot about your date by learning where they’re from.

Discuss Hobbies

You might love old rom coms, but is it important to you that your partner does too? Generally, it’s more important to find out if your date has hobbies than if they share the same ones as you—although shared hobbies are a great topic of conversation on a first date! If you spend a lot of time exercising, cooking, or going out with friends, you want to know that your date will either come along or be busy with their own activities.

Talk About Their Relationships

We don’t mean that kind of relationship, although discussing past partners can be helpful on a first date, particularly if you or your date is divorced or has kids. But discussing your date’s friends, family, and even coworkers can help you get a sense for who they really are.

Are they close with others? Do they invest in their relationships? Or do they blame difficulties with their family or friends on others? Your relationships say a lot about you, and your date is no exception—if they seem unable to build or maintain healthy relationships, then they might not be the best choice for a romantic partner either.

Bring Up Dealbreakers

Is spirituality super important to you? Kids? Living close to family? If you’ve got dealbreakers, don’t be afraid to bring them up on a first date. It might end some relationships before they start, but it’s important to be honest and put your goals and desires first. Don’t wait until you’ve fallen in love to talk about the future, which will put you in the awful position of choosing between your goals and your love. See if your goals align from the start, and let the relationship bloom from there.

Don’t Put Too Much Pressure on a First Date

Dating is tough, and nerves don’t help. If your first date wasn’t the instant connection you were hoping for but you think there might be something there, don’t give up. But be bold enough to step away from dates you’re really not clicking with. Your perfect match is out there somewhere!

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