Being in a relationship is hard work. Of course, there are many wonderful things about living your life alongside someone you love, but there are hard moments too—like arguments, petty disagreements, and compromises.
How do you know when the hard moments signify something more significant about the relationship? If your partner regularly says any of these 10 things, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship.
You’re Annoying Them
Every person has little quirks. It’s part of what makes you uniquely you! But if your partner is constantly pointing out things they find annoying, it’s going to chip away at your relationship. If your partner can’t deal with your little idiosyncrasies, it speaks more to their flaws than yours.
They Think Your Friends are Attractive
Just because your gal pals are all super fun and good looking doesn’t mean your partner needs to bring it up. Not every thought needs to be shared. Constantly talking about the appearance of others creates distrust and self consciousness.
“I Told You So”
Reliving past argumentative “victories” is a sign of immaturity. In a healthy relationship, your partnership is more important than winning an argument.
Doubts About Your Relationship
Again, not every stray thought needs to be voiced aloud. If your partner is having doubts about the relationship, they’re perfectly entitled to seeking out advice from people they trust—but you shouldn’t be one of those people. Processing relationship doubts within the relationship is inappropriate and hurtful.
To Give Up On Your Goals
Sure, this seems like an obvious red flag. But what about if your goals become incompatible with your relationship? Your partner should recognize the importance of your individuality and should be willing to step back and allow you to choose what’s most important to you.
What Their Family Thinks About You
If relationships are complicated, then families are just…tough. Whether your partner is close to their family or disagrees with them about everything, bringing up their families’ concerns or negative opinions will drive a wedge between you and the family of the person you love.
You’re Overreacting
Sometimes our emotions get out of hand. But if your partner is constantly dismissing your feelings or concerns, then they’re not really listening to you. This kind of behavior can cause you lasting harm, since it leads to self doubt. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself in these situations.
You’re Too Emotional
See “You’re Overreacting,” above. This is a harmful tactic used by some partners to point the finger at you during an argument instead of themselves. If your partner can’t engage in healthy disagreement and instead always redirects the issue to be your problem, they have a problem.
“You Don’t Care About Me”
Statements like this are often used by partners to manipulate you into doing what they want. If your partner is constantly saying things like this to get their way, they’re at best immature and at worst manipulative.
Remember, relationships are not just defined by what happened today, but by the good and the bad throughout your whole journey together. Every relationship will go through rough patches, but if your partner constantly doubts you during difficult seasons, it’s going to divide you.
To Do Something that Makes You Uncomfortable
Whether it’s in bed, professionally, or socially, your partner should not force you out of your comfort zone. This is much different than encouraging you to push yourself and grow. Asking you to do something uncomfortable out of their own self interest is a red flag.
No relationship is perfect. Even if your relationship is going great, there are always things that can be improved. But if your partner is constantly dismissing you, saying hurtful things, or making you uncomfortable, it might be time to move on.
